Let me relate a story to you. This is a story of innonence, of purity and youthfulness.

Sitting down on a bench at one of the bus stops near my school, I saw a little girl with her mother and her 1++ year old brother on the next bench. She was looking around when she spotted me. She smiled shyly at me before looking away. I looked ahead again but both of our eyes locked again. She smiled again. I felt a rush of blood to my head, blushing a little. However, I decided to play with her, making clown faces, to make a time on the bench a enjoyable time. She smiled further and started to laugh a little, occassionally some funny faces on her own. Then a bus came. She was momentarily distracted by it before looking at me again. This time however, I was looking at my handphone, smsing away. She said to me," Kor Kor (Big Brother)." These words made me look up to her and smile at her again. A few more minutes on, we were playing funny faces Then she said to her mother," Ma (Mother), look here. Kor Kor (Big Brother)" The mother looked around, apparently finding someone looking like a big guy, with some sissy lok, but found none. Then she scolded the daughter not to disturb her, instead turning her attention to the younger son. The little girl looked at me pleadingly, and I allowed her to take a bit more of my time. We played around until my bus 72 came. As I walked away, towards my bus, I waved goodbye to her. She waved back, with tears in her eyes. "Kor kor, Kor kor" she said, waving me goodbye. Then she faced away, determined not to drip the tears. I sat on the bus, with her ace forever imprinted in my head.


See? The world is not full of nonsense. Neither it is full of immature people. It in its pure self is a heavenly world. With people like the girl, I felt peace, warmth, and love. This world can be much better, with truth and all. I just wished.

How I just wished people would remember me, and things were back to normal ... I just hope.

Betrayal. Hatred. Hurt. These are the feelings that are going through my mind right now. Often that when you read my blog, you will find out that I rarely type in this perfect english without the usage of slang. However, as the three words that are on the first line right now, this is an exception.

Often enough in our lives, we face enemies, or people that we are highly uncomfortable with. This is highly normal, and I truly accept this fact. But, when your own friends goes behind your back and stabs you by saying your secrets and stuffs, you feel BETRAYED like never before. This is the world where you feel most comfortable, and yet it is now under attack, which make you highly insecure and over suspicious. But, who can blame us ? For I have entrusted them things, and yet they stabbed me behind my back. This is holy prejudice, and I hope this will stop. SImply because I'm about to bubble over.

Hatred. Said when a party totally dislikes something or somebody. In my case, it's loathing. I loathe people who have seen me as not what I am, but what or who I resembled or look like. Jokes are accepted, but when a person goes way to far, I would like to ask him," Aren't you imperfect too ? Childish? Stupid? Immature?"

Hurt. The word I'm feeling right now. I want someone's care and concern, and more than ever, I need a good friend. I need someone to talk to me, understand me at least, but not always be a total idiot and backstab me. I'm hurt because my little princess has gone to some handsome prince, my loved one has gone away, or too busy, and I'm wanting for someone to understand me. Because I can't it any longer. I can't say it any longer. Simply because...

I need a friend, loyal and true friend. Because I miss you.

haix .. miss chance again n again .. how *lucky* can i be ?