I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain.
Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile.
She will be loved, she will be loved.

Maroon 5, She will be loved.

Yes, I have successfully restarted this blog! The celebrations and the smiles that comes with it, will be done later. This is to revive my former energetic self, and to pour out my heart feelings. Oh, this song chorus above is dedicated to someone who is now avoiding me, just asking her will she come out of her shell or not....

~ New Blog

Well guys, I think it is time to shift to a new blog. My new blog is .. http://dichotomyoflife.blogspot.com and it will be different I promise. so .. wish you all the best .. and adios...

*Stage 2 : More Paranoid * ... (Sigh) ExAmS ArE OuT .. N MaRkS ArE TeRrible ..

Sigh .. The exams are out and I do not have any chance of getting to the grades that I want. (Sigh) ...

First of all, my results. Out of 7 subjects that have so far been out, I have only achieved 1 A1, 3 B3s, 2 B4s, and the last one being Physics, which has not been out yet. Sigh ... Well, the only good part is that I have been achieving all passes and no failures yet, so can you pray for me for my physics being a B3 @ least ?

Then, other results. Well, my emotional self have been UP and DOWN during the last 2 weeks. No computers, no TV, and not a single day out. Well, that will jolly mean more time at home, mugging away. However, I also have to take care of my siblings and coach them in their subjects as well. Sigh.

In this difficult time however, I met a friend that might well be in my *hatred* list. Nora, the school's student president, is somewhat a very very nice lady after all. =). She was like a normal teengaer, with extra responsibility, but with the nicest student leader's attitude. Well, during the exam period, we would be going back home together, arguing the different points of the exams. (Laughs)

Then, inevitably, the star in my heart. She will be my star, my shining one, but as she so brightly shines, I will be under her and a lot of pressure to keep up. There is that goes, " Thee shou be with thee til the end of time." Well, I promise you that, once my inner fears are gone.

Last but not least, I shall be very very sorry if I did not attend to some people, due to my busy hectic schedule. I will try to, but no guarantee. Anyway, I will be putting up a site for autographies, or memories lane. Thanks for those people who put their names in. ~Thanks.

Laughs Out Loud .. *Stage : Getting Paranoid* ..

Hmmm .. Had an eventful week, with all different kinds of shock treatment. Good and bad though. Maybe this is life after all.

First Shock treatment : Studying past 12 ...

This is the first time I have continued to study past 12 midnight, and for a period of seven days. This is taking a toll on me, as I have been spotting round black eyes, not to say a few too many strains of red lines on my two eyes. (Read: RED EYES.) This will only have a negative effect on me at least for the time being, but I believe it will do more good than bad. Wish me luck, okay ? *Grins*

Second Shock treatment : English Orals

This is the first time where I had scored a high 32/40 for my English Orals. This is simply wonderful, and a morale booster for me. Wonderful, simply wonderful. At least it was my first time, and no one was going to take it away from me. *yeah* .. Must improve better next time .. *Grins* ..

Third Shock Treatment : Kissed by An Angel

Dear, you should know this. Thank you so much. You really made my day. *GRINS EVEN BIGGER*...

Well, I cannot think of anymore, so please excuse me while I take a leave. Ciao !

Stress .. And Different Forms of It .. *Sigh*

My head thumps rapidly, then going round and round and round ... When will this stop ?

Someone told me, ' It will stop when she comes and hug you.'
Another said, ' When you take some sleep and stop worrying ..'
The list goes on and on..

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This is just me rumbling in my head. Because I am under a lot of stress. Exams are just arond the corner. All over the place. Sigh. Then, endless number of homework, tests, pressure .. This will never end. My mum just asked me, ' Marcus, are you okay?' I replied, ' Stress. '

The one word that kills anyone in sight. The one word that pressures everyone. The same one word that everyone uses. @ least in my world. Everything counts in this world, and it needs to be fast. Fast, fast and faster. It will never end. ~Sigh.

Anyway, I got my new bag *YippEe* I feel tired now.. Physics test got 26/30 . Not bad for a first timer.. ~hahax.. gd nite ..

~ To tt special someone.. I love you to the end of time. *HUGZ* .. .. LuB mE?

After Effects of The School Holidays .. ExAmS .. *CryS* ..

Hmm .. After losing by such a small margin in the Robo GP .. I didn't know what was to come. My dearest fell ill on saturday and it dragged all the way to friday.. and everyday it hurts my heart to see her cough .. Does she know how I feel ? .. Yes .. but deep down inside .. I really love her .. Love her till the end of time ..

It's not that I don't have a chance to meet her, but then, to hear her cough so severely, kinda freaks me out. She is the love of my life. She is the angel in my eyes. She is the most nicest person to be with. She's my love.

Okay, some people will complain, so i will go on. This week has been a pretty fruitful week, and all teachers have been nice. Except for one. Ms Foo. The new E-Maths teacher. (GosH) She's a freak in short. Darn .. She's like .. "Class, please do this, that, this, that .. " and the list goes on. Darn, but I don't really care. She's a way bit too concerned.

Well, I also want to apologise to TWO people. One is Esther. From Pierce Secondary school. So sorry to irritate you on that day. I hope you would just accept it.

Next one is more important. Jillian, I hoped you would forgive me for saying a few nasty words. It wasn't like me, and I wanted to apologise. Sorry.

Haix.. 3 weeks left .. Smile 2 days left .. =) .. getting paranoid eh ? =P

Sept School Hols .. Or is it a *RuN-uP* to ~heLL?

(sigh), my holidays are burnt and coming to an end. No chance of waking up late, due to the numerous number of CCA activites. (SIgH).. Robo GP all the way, and we only got fifth placing in the finals. AND WE LOST TO THE FOURTH PLACING TEAM BY 0.01 SECONDS!!! .. and they have a trophy back home .. we don't .. (SIGH) ... wasted time..
but never mind abt that .. i made new friends .. new people .. and a good instructor in Mr Yong .. so .. three cheers for the ROBO GP crew!!
anyway.. what was more interesting was what happened after Robo GP...

After I found out we had lost, I started making plans to go home. But then, my sister said she wanted to support me, so by the time she came here, I was rushing off from the competition site. I didn;t care to watch the remaining competition as we lost by 0.01s. Anyway, we met and we went all the way to Tampines Mall.

We went there to take a few photos and stuff, and we finally got one that was so nice .. (hmm) ..

the Picture ..



nice right ? .. Well both of us here .. together forever ...

AiR FoRcE 1

~whee...

Airplanes flying all around me. All around my head. F-15s, F-16 (C/D), C-130, and a whole lot more ! Man, I wish I was up there, flying a F-35. Nice way to travel though, even with the risk of being shot down by Malaysia or Indonesia. (laughs)

Friday was boring in the morning, as people were very excited about the activities in the later part of the day. Airplanes were made, and Bo Hou (Booby BoB ... =P) and I were talking about being *bored* being there. Then we were asked to board the bus at 1330. We left the last, while finding Shao Fei, Cheng Yang, and Li Qia (Three Musketeers). While on the bus, I sat next to Zhen Jia, who wanted some peace and quiet for the 1st time. But then all these were to be ruined by Crazy BooBy BoB, who waved to all ib the streets, which led to a lot of startled faces on the streets. People were all aughing on the bus, and Zhen Jia joined him. Wei Tang, Rui Liang laughed non-stop, and I could only stop myself from giggling too hard.

When we were nearing the Air Force Museum, BoB waved to a whole lot of ... CHIJ people ! There was a girl who eyed him from the bus, another waved back. (New girlfriend for BoB? [Laughs] ) He waved to Air Force people, who smiled at him back. Guess what after we alighted? The same batch of CHIJ people smiled at him, and one girl was blushing. (oh my gosh) Bob was looking away, looking so 'DAO'. What a guy he was, and still is. SO DAO ONE! .. (Haix)...

Then we went there to wait for 30 over minutes, because the rest got lost. The other buses went to some other places, and we were the last to leave, first to reach. Anyway, I saw 3 C-130 taking off. Pretty. Then finally, I got in. Then...

'Shit, Metal DETECTORS' Handphones!!!

That was our first reaction, and I scrambled to put my handphone inside my wallet. Anyway, the teachers (Mr Singh included) didnt care now, so it was okay. And then we had a briefing on where to meet, so that it was easier to meet for the airshow. Then ,we were free to roam. I started out with Yee Howe, but then he met his friend and we seperated. Then I went to play some games, and get some posters. (the joy-stick suck here man ...)

0_o J & M o_0 .. Both Of Us Forever .. *Ring*

Yesterday marks a special event in my life, besides being black-eyed at the end of the day. Not from fighting, but from tiredness. My day.. was just a wonderful one.

It was the day where I had to wake up so early, and on the wrong side of the bed. Then, I had to rush outta bed to get ready to go to Eunos MRT, where the air force people were seen waiting for us. Stupid Bo Hou, make me wait so long for his arrival, like some big shot like that .. >.<" The we proceeded to the Paya Lebar Airport, and the Air Force school, my Sec 1 airmodelling centre.
LIstened to the talk, by Dr Ong, which was in short, ~Boring. Basic Principles of Flight, was the *Boring Matter of The day*. Then, we had the chance to see airplanes, similar to the one I did in secondary one, and Mr Cheung, Tony Cheung, flew the plane up n down. Beautiful.

After that , we went to the Air Force Museum, where we saw the history of Singapore's Flight. From the old old two wing bi-plane, to the Boeing 747-400, all were shown there. Beautiful, simply beautiful. =)

Then came the contests. First, the *wing is king* contest was contested, and if i'm not wrong, there was a team whose wing can take up to 50 grams of weight, twice the weight of the wing. ~O_o~ .. Then, the paper airplane was won by BO HOU's GROUP. He, who throws shotput, will win the Paper Airplane Contest.

Then my team of people, who are Jun Liang, Michelle, Melissa, Sheryl, and me!, were all the pic. Beautiful people, and got 5 more new frenx.. actually more than 5. Still have Samuel and Debri and Zhi Hao .. And a whole lot more..
Ring for the both of us. To someone, I LOVE you always, remembering you by the ring. =D

Love. I'm in love.

A week has gone by, and I have experienced love. Love is a commitment, a feeling, and a relationship. This new feeling will put me on a silent note. I will no longer dig into people's lives, (especially private ones), and never to bother anyone until the end of this never-ending relationship.

I love her deeply, more han anything else. She is the spark of my life, and I had to defy all odds to be with her. For those who are deeply interested, sorry folks, this girl's is mine and don't talk about me and her.

All I ask is that people treat me as what I am, and nothing else. For all those I have insulted indirectly, I apologise. For those people who I have done severe amount of damage, I apologise. From now on, please don't look me as you used to. Look me as an person, unique. Thank you.

A New Life. To live without her. To stay strong and go on.

I remember last 2 weeks ago, my mother was crying herself out. Oh yeah, I was 'absent' due to stress and other commitments. And also due to the fact that I was depressed, over a lot of things, especially my grandmother. Yeah, it is hard to let someone you love so much go, but this is life after all. (This is one of the reasons that I admire my father so much as he is strong inside out, outside in.)

Anyway, let the past be history. The past, where I had always wanted to live in, is now only a memory, to be cherished by me. Only me, maybe. That first hug, that first kiss by her, that night when I sneaked across to talk to a girl, that first time I saw light, so on and so forth. That will be a part of my past, only my past. This is the only part of me that will be sentimental, because it contained important memories.

I'm slowly changing. Changing into someone new. Changing into a new dragon, a new person to face these hard times. And I have (finally) a new person to be with. A new person, positively the love of my life. The star which I wish upon, has finally granted my this wish. Thank you. =)

May God bless all (though I'm not a Christian), and especially to my love one. x)

Lost. Totally lost. Out of this world lost. Where are you grandma ? Marcus boi here...

I walked into a land of darkness on Friday, 8th of August. A land of no promise, no hope, no wishes, just nothing. A lonely person, with nothing to live for, waiting to die. Feelings of loneliness, of hopelessness, of nothingness, are just starting to pour into me. Why, why must god take her away from me? Why ?

Let me do a bit of recount into what actually happened. On friday, I was all prepared to go with my friends on a project meeting when my mum called, asking me to come to SGH as soon as I can. I took a taxi, rushing off to the hospital. Once I reached there, I felt a sense of fright creeping all over me, a sense only felt when someone close is going up to heaven. Then as I approached the ward, I saw my relatives with red eyes. I expected something was bad, but until I saw my grandma, I didn't knew it was coming.

My grandma was in a state of coma. Fullstop. ( I just can't ber to further write somemore. ) And the only thing I did was to call 'AH MA.. AH MA...' I wasn't myself, because this great person was going to leave me. I was going to be all alone in this cruel world, without her doting care, and constant saying of ' Orh? Orh Han Zi Lahz'. Ah Ma don't leave me... Marrcus boy here ....

Then she saw four of us grandsons, three childrens of hers, before her pulse dropped and she passed away. My mother cried uncontrobally , and I was restraining myself from crying. AH MA... AH MA...

Then it was the funeral. Five days, ending today. And I was not allowed to go near the coffin or anyway near it. NO cremation, no nothing. I was not allowed to see my grandma going up to heavens physically, but only in heart and soul. This was not allowed as it was superstious for me to go.

I need someone's help. I need to pick myself up again. But then, who's willing ? Who is ? I need a hug. I need someone to comfort me. I am out of my mind..

AH MA !! AH MA !! AH MA!! Marcus boy here .. Yao Ji De Marcus .. AH MA !!! (Crys)

Today. New beginnings. New Hopes. New Aspirations. In other words, ME.

Bold words aren't they ? (laughs) Anyway, I had a pretty uneven day today, and not without surprieses. But yet, because I'm running outta time, I will summarize. First on the list ... :-

* Someone have been distancing herself from me. However, the only thing I do is care about her. (Funny eh?)
* Someone else thinks that I'm better than her. (hint)(hint)
* Someone looks up to me as big bro !!
* While the other looks down on me. (hint)(hint)
* Maths all passed.
* Me in confused mood.

No more to write till tomorrow. Good night ! ;) (crazy mode)

First Day as a changed person. Not much of a change, maybe I have to have time. Hahax. Lotsa things happened today, notably the English Festival. Pretty frustrated at the way things were going, but then, what was I to do ? The english festival, which everyone put in effort, was a big flop, due to the technical errors. Imagine a lot of hard work gone down the drain. Anyway, I agree that it was lady luck frowning on us. That's all. (Sigh) But this life, so I'm gonna ask Mrs Lee to rock the house down. (Yippee!) So let's rock the house down ! But then, I see a lot of people having relationship problem, that's all. I wanna help, but then i dunno where to start ....

As from today onwards, I will be a nicer person. The blog here is just a my diary, however, I will try my best not to offend anyone further onwards. As for certain people, I'm sorry. Hope that we can be friends at least.

haiz .. lost my 8310 .. dun ask how i lose it .. it is just a total mishap .. haix .. haix ..

I confess something. Something so important, so signficant in my life. My heart's abegging to tell the world, but times have not been right for me to tell. Rumors and all are just a bunch of imagination done up by people who are wanting to mark my fall, or mark my supposed desperation of girls. All in all, the targets given by them are all fakes, and they are merely my friends.
Well, some of these 'targets' are made up by me, in a way to decieve you. They are meant to make you think that I am attracted to someone else, so that you can leave your sights open, options open to anyone. They might range in the form of a cool hunk, to a nerdy guy, but still, these are options. I tried to decieve you further that I have a girlfriend outside. These were all in name of decieving you. However, time is short, and I have to make my move.
However, I have to say on our history. In secondary 1, I was a temporary class chairman, and more often than ever, I promised that I gave you nightmares. Nightmares, they were all in jest, as I tried to tease you, in my way. You were a bit amused, a bit agitated at times, but still, it got your attention. Then came secondary 2. I matured a little, or a lot, to some people's standards. I underwent a camp, to improve myself. I changed in person, became more open, more Americanized. I was the person that was the most open in thinking around in a conservative school. It was hard to fit in, but I made a lot of friends. I renewed my friendship with you, and tried to be a very nice person to you, though I tend to turn into suh a jerk at times. Haha. Those were the days.
Then in sec 3, I turned from a casual friend to a closer one. I saw that you had gone through a lot of crushes, and a couple of boyfriends. They were all too unlike you, and they had someone else in mind. I was there, helping you through all these. All these pressure from people that were a bit of acting that were looking like they were very concerned about you, but actually have someone else in mind. I was there, asking you this and that, thinking you could see through them, and at times, telling you that breaking up were the best idea. I was not the one behing these ideas, though having a crush on you last year for a short period of time did not count. I sincerely wanted to help you in all these relationship problems.
However lately, I developed some what of a different feeling for you. It is made up of respecting you, caring about you, sheltering you, asking you to be more alert around you. All these were just a part of protecting you, loving you. It is just part of me wanting to tell you, another part of me saying not. However, I chose to tell you, maybe in person tomorrow, but now virtually.

To this person :- I love you. Beyond reason. Beyond thoughts. Beyond fear. Beyond me.

haix .. it's so heart-breaking .. so unpredictable .. so unexpected .. it's like a piece of shit that drops on you when you are walking down a normal street .. haix .. can people revert to their former form ? .. more happier form ? .. more happier selves ??

Those are just the starting words. I feel differently now. People have read my blog. They have different views. Some see my blog pieces very carefully, and truly understanding them. Some just visit the site, seeing that this site has a few good things to show off, and thus compliment me on them. Some just visit the website to be a be of a busybody, where they want to know the feelings of someone so open, or so unlike them. Some people just visit as if they are forced to, or have nothing better / else to do. I don't blame them. After all, this is my site and my blog, and I chose to show it to the world, and this their opinions after all.
However, having said that, I would like to continue asking those who really care. 'Do you really understand me? Do you know what on earth am I feeling to say anything at all? Or do you just want to make some silly comments, like in some cases "Please lead a happier life." and "Stop pitying yourself. You are in fact quite lucky after all.". I agree with them to a small, tiny, microscopic extend, but would wish to ask them,"Are you me?" Some people lead lves that have friends all around them, thus not knowing the feeling of being lonely. Some people lead lives that are being *Ms Independent* or *Mr Favourite*, and thus think that my blog is a bunch of crap. Nothing more, nothing less. But, do they know me inside? I doubt so. They only want to voice out their opinions, and try to make me join them, or be someone different, or to stop pestering them. In other words, they DO NOT know the feeling of loneliness or being *MR. "CHUG AT ONE SIDE DUE TO CERTAIN OTHER PEOPLE*. These are the poeple that have not gone through what I have gone through.
However, all that I can do is sigh. Nothing else I can do. This is my life, to lead and to experiment. This is the life that I have, being a straigh-forward guy and a very open-minded guy, much unlike to this conservative society's way of thinking. They have secrets, they backstab, sow the seeds of distrust among people who were once good friends. This is the life that I don't intend to live, because this is me. Go and lament things to your friends, while this guy here has serious problems. Too bad, they say.
But anyway, these are my heart's problems, emotional only. This blog is to serve me as my outlet to prove myself. Anyway, I just had the most unexpected things in my life. I have sisters, all one by one having a boyfriend each, when their main exams is this year. I have friends drinking, but think it is the normal thing to do. I accept that drinking's is okay, but it will be detrimental to you guys health. Listen to this if you like, but this is important after all. And to my three sisters, who are the blessings of love I hope, see that their exams are more important and try to think that the boy's heart is also important. Thus hurting him is going to have a lot of problems for him in his life. (Sigh)

Let me relate a story to you. This is a story of innonence, of purity and youthfulness.

Sitting down on a bench at one of the bus stops near my school, I saw a little girl with her mother and her 1++ year old brother on the next bench. She was looking around when she spotted me. She smiled shyly at me before looking away. I looked ahead again but both of our eyes locked again. She smiled again. I felt a rush of blood to my head, blushing a little. However, I decided to play with her, making clown faces, to make a time on the bench a enjoyable time. She smiled further and started to laugh a little, occassionally some funny faces on her own. Then a bus came. She was momentarily distracted by it before looking at me again. This time however, I was looking at my handphone, smsing away. She said to me," Kor Kor (Big Brother)." These words made me look up to her and smile at her again. A few more minutes on, we were playing funny faces Then she said to her mother," Ma (Mother), look here. Kor Kor (Big Brother)" The mother looked around, apparently finding someone looking like a big guy, with some sissy lok, but found none. Then she scolded the daughter not to disturb her, instead turning her attention to the younger son. The little girl looked at me pleadingly, and I allowed her to take a bit more of my time. We played around until my bus 72 came. As I walked away, towards my bus, I waved goodbye to her. She waved back, with tears in her eyes. "Kor kor, Kor kor" she said, waving me goodbye. Then she faced away, determined not to drip the tears. I sat on the bus, with her ace forever imprinted in my head.


See? The world is not full of nonsense. Neither it is full of immature people. It in its pure self is a heavenly world. With people like the girl, I felt peace, warmth, and love. This world can be much better, with truth and all. I just wished.

How I just wished people would remember me, and things were back to normal ... I just hope.

Betrayal. Hatred. Hurt. These are the feelings that are going through my mind right now. Often that when you read my blog, you will find out that I rarely type in this perfect english without the usage of slang. However, as the three words that are on the first line right now, this is an exception.

Often enough in our lives, we face enemies, or people that we are highly uncomfortable with. This is highly normal, and I truly accept this fact. But, when your own friends goes behind your back and stabs you by saying your secrets and stuffs, you feel BETRAYED like never before. This is the world where you feel most comfortable, and yet it is now under attack, which make you highly insecure and over suspicious. But, who can blame us ? For I have entrusted them things, and yet they stabbed me behind my back. This is holy prejudice, and I hope this will stop. SImply because I'm about to bubble over.

Hatred. Said when a party totally dislikes something or somebody. In my case, it's loathing. I loathe people who have seen me as not what I am, but what or who I resembled or look like. Jokes are accepted, but when a person goes way to far, I would like to ask him," Aren't you imperfect too ? Childish? Stupid? Immature?"

Hurt. The word I'm feeling right now. I want someone's care and concern, and more than ever, I need a good friend. I need someone to talk to me, understand me at least, but not always be a total idiot and backstab me. I'm hurt because my little princess has gone to some handsome prince, my loved one has gone away, or too busy, and I'm wanting for someone to understand me. Because I can't it any longer. I can't say it any longer. Simply because...

I need a friend, loyal and true friend. Because I miss you.

haix .. miss chance again n again .. how *lucky* can i be ?

Hmmm .. as some of you might have notice ... i did not blogged for quite some time liao .. it's a matter of time .. or time management as some people say it .. but anyway .. lotsa happened in my life .. i mean a lot .. and IF someone like *hem* *hem* ask me why in my life is there so many thing is happenening .. it's becuz it's i observe every small part of it ? .. hahax ..

hmm .. let me start on the eight of JuLy ... My Day ... the day before was Francise's birthday .. hahax .. older than me by a few hours only .. but then act as if my da jie like that .. hahax .. however .. needless to say that she's a good da jie to me .. hehex ... then .. wake up so early in the morning .. then every one at home wished me happy birthday .. so happi .. hahax .. first time go to school so early .. hahax .. but then the stoopid sbs bus so slow .. :( .. but anyway .. it's like that lorx .. then sung majulah singapura .. with a bit more joy .. then went up to class .. found to pressie .. from 2 ppl . my xiao mei n my da jie .. from my class one .. hahax .. they so good to me .. hahax .. they all my good sisters . hahax . but my da jie so bad to me .. ask me to donate to her gb thing .. haix .. hahax .. but aniwe .. i got my wish form some1 .. its so nice of her .. hehex.. she's my pretty princess after all .. hahax .. :D .. then got mail from someone .. that was personally sent .. wah .. so nice horx .. haix .. i wish soomething lorx .. ppl stop saying me .. cuz i got someone in my heart liaox .. k ?? it's someone younger .. k ??

Today .. is my day !! =D .. wanna thank those hu wished me or hugged me ;) .. thank you ..

DJ MaX here .. Want A Dedication ? .. Or a Song Request ? .. I will rock to your tunes .. Yeah !! .. DJ MaX rocking the house tonight ...

Hahax .. naive me .. i dunno .. i was having too much fun yesterday i suppose .. rocking the school down .. hahax .. reading out dedications of the school population ... hahax love notes .. and other stuffs .. like reading out the love notes .. most of them sabo by their friends .. hahax .. and true feelings for others .. hmm .. is it worth it ? .. talking about true love .. when is it gonna happen ? .. is it gonna be a lifetime later ? .. or is it tomolo ? .. i dunno .. cuz i wanna find out hu's my true love ..
hahax ... relax envy serene .. she so pretty .. >.<" .. haix .. i realli envy her lorx .. realli realli wish .. hahax .. jus wondering .. i dunno .. haix .. oh .. me class earned $396 dollars .. like shit lorx .. haix .. i realli wish ... realli wish .. for you to be next to me .. to be with me .. hugging me .. can you oblige ? .. can you agree ? .. cuz i realli want you ..

"Are You Happy Now?"

Now, don’t just walk away
Pretending everything’s ok
And you don’t care about me
And I know there’s just no use
When all your lies become your truths and I don’t care... yeah, yeah, yeah

Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you’re happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

You took all there was to take,
And left with an empty plate
And you don’t care about it, yeah.
And I, I’ve given up this game
I’m leaving you with all the blame cause I don’t care, yeah, yeah yeah,

Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you’re happy now, oohh oohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
Are you happy now?

Do you have everything you want?
You can get up and give everything you`ve got
You can’t run away from yourself

Could you look me in the eye?
and tell me that you`re happy now, oohh oohhh
come on tell it to my face or have i been erased,
are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
are you happy now?

Would you look me in the eye?
Could you look me in the eye?
I’ve had that all I can take
And I’m about to break
Cause I’m happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Are you happy now?

first day of school .. and wad's happening to me ? (sung to the tune of first day of christmas) ..

hahax .. as if the whole world does not wad's in the world is happening to me .. i don't know .. hahax .. meeting so many faces @ once for me is a bit of de confusing .. truthfully speaking .. to see a few familiar people with weird hair styles is a tad too much .. aniwae .. i came to school in a taxi .. :( .. >.<"

haix .. then see old frenx .. feel much better .. felt much closer together .. i just dunno y .. but three weeks seemed a lot to me .. and i felt inside a grp of people again .. but then .. suddenly .. this loneliness feeling hit me like a bullet outta nowhere .. or a backstab .. but i went on to survive the day .. oh guesss wad .. i'm changing teachers .. chinese teacher .. Miss Seah .. English teacher .. Miss Joyce Quek N Mrs Lee .. and .. mrs lim is no longer my form teacher ..

and then .. the feeling hit me again .. on the bus . i felt like crying out the blues ... it's so devasting you know .. when the feeling of emptiness .. when the feeling of no one cares for you comes back .. it's like a strike @ yur heart .. the feeling of emptiness .. it's slowly killing me .. like murdering me alive .. i dunno y .. i dunno .. =( ... can anyone out there help me??

[Take a Bow] by Madonna ...

Take a bow, the night is over
This masquerade is getting older
Light are low, the curtains down
There's no one here
[There's no one here, there's no one in the crowd]
Say your lines but do you feel them
Do you mean what you say when there's no one around [no one around]
Watching you, watching me, one lonely star
[One lonely star you don't know who you are]
Chorus:
I've always been in love with you [always with you]
I guess you've always known it's true [you know it's true]
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye
Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
Make them laugh, it comes so easy
When you get to the part
Where you're breaking my heart [breaking my heart]
Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown
[Just make 'em smile the whole world loves a clown]
Wish you well, I cannot stay
You deserve an award for the role that you played [role that you played]
No more masquerade, you're one lonely star
[One lonely star and you don't know who you are]
(chorus, repeat)
Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
All the world is a stage [world is a stage]
And everyone has their part [has their part]
But how was I to know which way the story'd go
How was I to know you'd break
[You'd break, you'd break, you'd break]
You'd break my heart
I've always been in love with you
[I've always been in love with you]
Guess you've always known
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye
(chorus)
Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
Say good-bye

haix .. can anione help me??

Haiz ... woke up so early in the morning ... just to recieve the information that i dont need to do the prayers .. then went back to slp when i had the scariest nightmare in years ... well the dream started out something like this ..

"Marcus .. Marcus .. wake up ! .. your marriage day is here .." i was in a blur blur state when *supposedly* my mother woke me up .. and then i was found to have my tuxedo on and everything else. i tot i was alreadi 20 ++ years old .. but when i looked into the mirror .. i saw myself .. @ 15 YEARS OLD !!! .. i'm beyond shock ... never mind about tat ...

after wards .. i had to do the normal marriage customs .. and i dun have a clue who's the bride .. she's covered with all the veils and silk cloth tt i dun have a clue who's my bride ?? .. [i was thinking of running away but u know .. dreams only allow tt for monster or scary nightmare .. well mine's a shock .. so not counted =( ]...

then i visited all my relatives places .. who were very happy that i had a girlfriend at such a young age .. correction .. make tt a wife .. meaning to say tt i would have a lot more children .. OMG .. i havent even finished my o level ... my gosh .. then i had to hold this wedding dinner .. that was so big .. i had to accommodate a way lot of relatives .. my gosh .. and till that time .. i have not idea who's my bride .. then suddenly .. one of my buddy came along and said to me .. "not bad horx ... so young get a pretty wife .." .. that phrase was vaguely familiar .. then i see the stage ... and saw someone's name with mine name .. u know hu's name ?? .. my ex ..

[okie okie... i on veri veri gd terms with her .. but this is a shock nightmare ... shock the hell outta me] ...

haix haix .. woke up sweating cold sweat .. oh my gosh .. wad a nightmare .. haix haix ..

aniwae .. i had to work like 1 hr 45 mins to work out a solution .. then still got run time error .. wad the hell .. hahax .. then .. a few minutes into the competition .. the computer started to hate me .. crash again n again .. wad de hell .. then change computer .. to a MOE HQ laptop .. hahax .. maybe not tt fun .. but my brain fizzled after that .. aniwae ... went all the way to simei .. hoping to see sarah .. then christine tell me that she's not there .. went out .. haix .. but her bro went nice chap .. innocent one .. hahax .. very nice bro lahx .. hahax ... then had to sit all by myself back home .. thinking about my dream .. and heard a very nice song .. to sarah .. to my *da jie* .. and all the world .. tt song .. it's a nice one .. and i was thinking .. i gave it all and everyone here .. sing this and u need this .. i tink ..

"Where Is The Love?"

What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Badness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how a n**** works and operates
N**, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love

It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With the ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'
in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our own direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive to lovers bound

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)


understand this .. n love the world ..

Oh my god .. Oh my God ... I am SO Happy !! .. U realli realli made my dae .. You are the best thing that can happen to me life !! ..

U send me a birthdae present .. which represented your sincerity .. your thoughts .. your feelings .. your hopes .. your characteristics .. your image of me .. well .. in that gift alone.. you changed me whole world .. you change me soul .. you change me whole charcater ... and for that i'm veri veri grateful ..

you taught me sincerity inits purest form .. you taught me how to care for someone properly .. you taught me how to hold a person in his heart .. to hold him in high spirits .. to tell him that life is more then death .. you taught me the value of everything .. everything around me and all about me ..

for that i'm ever so greatful to you .. so happi for you .. so happi for myself .. thus a song to u ..

"Every Day I Love You"

I don't know, but I believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you
I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn something new
Everyday I love you

'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul.

It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you

Everyday I love you more
Everyday I love you

'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul

If I asked would you say yes?
Together we're the very best
I know that I am truly blessed
Everyday I love you
And I'll give you my best
Everyday I love you

this is esp for you da jie. thank you a lot.

hmmm .. let me see .. since my birthdae's coming .. let me make me birthdae wish ... hahax .. naive me .. making a earli birthdae wish .. hahax .. first on the list .. all A1s for exam .. hahax .. near impossible .. but wishable ... next on the list .. more frenx .. i luv people and company .. thus if i meet a couple of more understanding frenx .. i would be overjoyed .. [ correction : overjoyed in an understatement. unexpressable feeling is the word. ] ... 3rd wish .. i wish for forgiveness from some ppl .. like some sec 4 pupils .. hmm ... juz a hope .. 4th wish .. a hope for more *open minded* people .. hahax .. and for the first time ... i will want a *HUGZ* .. from anione .. on my birthdae .. =D ..

"Cry" by Kim Marsh

[Chorus]
I would like to say that I never meant to make you cry,
I think about you everyday, no matter what your friends might say,
Everybody knows my name, even though I'm still the same,
I just would like to say that I, I never ever meant to make you Cry

[verse 1]
I would like to know why, there are clouds in the sky,
Every time I fall in love
and I would like to know why I'm sitting here on my own.
I would like to know why, when to find a nice guy,
someone I can lean upon
I mess it all up and then I wonder why I'm all alone.
Tell me if you think that I'm talking way too much,
Tell me if you'd like to stay in touch.

[Chorus]

[verse 2]
Sitting on the sofa, letting life go by,
Thinking about the Early days
Thinking about the times when I heard you were my crazy ways
All I wanna do is look around for you, yeah drive until the break of dawn
Tracking and calling and pleading till your coming home

Tell me if you think that I've been a bit too much,
Tell me if you'd like to stay in touch.

[chorus]

I didn't mean to be so cruel, I didn't mean to let you down,
So sorry for the rain on your parade and all the pain you must have gained because of me.

[chorus]

hmm .. a couple of things happened .. dunno whether to feel happi or not ... (and for the 1st and last time .. i will do a point form ... hehex) ...

* i was late for the micromouse course .. becuz of rain .. wad eva ..
* yon jan and frenx were oso late for the course .. hmmm
* the robotics training is such a bore ..
* learnt how to play spider solitaire ...
* nasi brani was a soso meal ...
* very very tired after 1530 ..
* took a non air con bus ! hot ! hot ! hot ! ...
* when walking out of bus interchange .. saw angeline and ching how holding hands .. walking pass me .. :S .. *blur*
* i ^wonder^ ...
* saw mrs jennifer ng .. previously 6c teacher ..
* got mrs khor's number .. yeah !! ..
* found out abt ms ng's case ..

hmm .. wad's the world coming to ?

i dunno .. is life a pile of mess ? .. or is it a paradise in disguise ? ... i dunno ..


hmmm .. let's see .. while i was away (from the computer) .. a couple of things happened .. yah yah .. if tt's of interest to you .. on thursday was stuck at home .. confined to doing homework and smsing away .. so sianx .. esp yur frenx r all so bz one .. some wif mock exams .. some with camps .. and others .. well .. they are plain unfree .. haix .. tt's life .. then .. went to tuition class .. was late due to tt stoopid bus .. haix .. cannot find out which idiot drew a pix to my name .. haix .. sianx .. *sincerely .. i was hoping it was one of the cedar gurls .. she's quite a lass lorx .. hahax .. toking like an american *beep* .. hehex ... then on tt nite ... smsed her .. wanted to meet her after her SS and geog exam .. then go out for lunch .. haix .. tt put me into a nice sweet dream ... hehex ..
then the next day .. i woke up to study the last few bits of my P&C test .. permutation n combination .. hard siax .. i almost forgotten it all .. lucky mrs lim arrived late .. i had the time to study .. and did the test with some ease .. hahax .. then i was forced to learn trigonometry .. *ARGH !! .. cosine .. sine .. tangent .. and a few more appeared before my eyes .. what a *beep* topic of a maths .. haix .. luckily for me .. i had background knowledge .. so a bit easier lahx ... thank god for maths olympiad .. hahax .... then wanted to meet her .. i was the first one to run all the way to the othello corner .. Yee Howe spotted me there .. and i was beaten 48 - 16 .. sucky rite ? .. he had four corners .. when i was dreaming of the prospect of meeting a new friend .. hahax .. then he left .. and i was left waiting .. for her ... suddenly .. i received information demanding my return to my home .. tt i had to smsed ppl .. to ask them to say sorry to girl .. haix ... then found out that she got fed up waiting that she played with other guys .. haix .. 1 wasted chance ..haix ... then i bought me shoes .. a SiZe 47 !!! .. wah lao eh .. so big .. me giant mehx ?? .. hmm .. is tt a size too big ?? .. smsed girl again ... wishing to meet her after her english mock .. then i made myself a promise to do tt .. she a nice person lahx ..
hahax.. went to CCA late again .. must wake myself earlier next time ... felt so relieved of solving two questions .. yeah .. but what the heck .. when i tried to run it in school .. stoopid run time error appeared ..then i couldn't run it in sch .. so play cs lahx .. hahax . must improve my frag though .. it sux lahx .. especially with my 5-1 ... para .. haix .. then i stood there waiting for her .. and waited .. and waited .. and after 1230 ... she appeared with some frenx .. hahax .. and @ first could not recongnise me .. hahax .. well .. i had a few idiots laughing at her and me ... nvm abt them .. they had an uneven life ... so tt's y so under priviledged ... thus needa gossip to laugh ... hahax ... nvm lahx .. tt's life aniwae rite .. well .. i walked her back home and found out what a great character she is .. all the smiles and the laughter .. well .. generally a nice person ... though must know her betta ... hahax .. rite now .. i gotta have my slp .. it's damn tiring u know ? . haix .. good nite peeps..

ah ... feeling after that letting out of gas on the internet .. isn't it a nice a feeling ?? .. hahax .. =P ... hmmm .. lemme see wad happened the last few days .. while blogger screwed up ... on monday .. woke up late .. then had to catch a cab to sch for cca .. haix .. then put my files on mrs lim table .. hahax .. then had a few minutes to dash to cca .. hahax .. stupid yon jan don't wanna turn up .. haix .. aniwae .. had to work on the pascal project .. a bit hard lehx .. hmm .. but then it was okie lahx .. and then .. i had there was this rumor abt me and her .. ?? .. wad's the matter with all u ppl ? .. esp me da jie .. haix .. u veri veri gd horx .. spread rumor abt me .. until mr sharma knows abt it .. hahax.. he will torture me .. argh !! .. nvm .. anywae .. she's a nice person wad .. nice person .. hmm .. then .. oh .. the maths olympiad .. it was easy lahx ..
let's hope for a gold ... =D .. hmm . then todae my brother's bdae .. we had dinner @ a jap place .. very nice .. hehex .. hmm .. well . feel relieved that deb has broke off with WK ... he's a way bit too possesive .. hehex .. good for deb .. hehex .. till next time .. buaix ..

this blog .. will not care abt care about anybody's feelings .. i dun care if you feel insulted by this ... becuz it's my blog !! ..

first round of insults .. you and you and you !! .. *beep* of the *beep* .. cannot even keep your eyes straight .. always looking out for slacking friends to make yourselves look better ... yeah .. think tt i'm not fit to be one of you .. well .. look @ your own self .. and see wad you really are .. you are all a hypocrites .. a few bunch of idiots in this world .. can you be more tolerant ? .. more open to changes ... cuz in this world .. you are the biggest idiot of them all .. y ? . becuz u three are a bunch of b.i.t.c.h.e.s. ..

second round of insults .. you 2 .. used me like a piece o shit .. didnt do anything @ all .. when i needed help on the proj .. u offered none .. when it was near completion .. u hurried me .. and asked whether i needed help .. i'm not a shit to trample on .. so pls .. get your faces outta my sight .. and i will be extremely nasty to you 2 .. for treating me like this ...

third round of insults .. to all people .. can you be more real ?? ... you all are like acting behind a mask .. where you show fake emotions .. fake trust .. i showed myself .. and from there i had my real frenx .. and those who aren't .. becuz .. only true friends accept the way you are .. the way you look .. and most importantly .. the person inside you ..

i got nothing more to say .. because this is my life .. my insults .. my praises ... my hopes .. my dreams .. my aspirations .. and my desires .. and no one can stop me .. so .. pls shake up and open up .. and u will know the truth ..

frustration in my head .. wad are they .. school .. studies .. work ... teachers .. friends .. people ... family ... time .. wad the *beep* is wrong with me ?? ..

people around me are all fake .. they think they show true emotions ... true feelings .. but in everyone of them ... behind their everyone *generous* moves or acts .. lies a motive ... to take advantage of you .. to make u lower than them .. make them in chic with the *popular* ones .. and leave you in the dump .. wad is this world made of ? .. is this world so corrupt .. so inmoral .. so evil ? .. wad they think is mostly .. (correction : make that "all" ) .. for themselves .. cant they just be like small innnocent children ? .. so true to their words .. haix .. i'm mad and fed up .. people do not care abt me .. this world is SICK SICK SICK !!!

haix .. got back my result alreadi .. horrible .. it's like public shame .. haix .. to think a former 260 student .. can get only a measly 65 position out of the whole school sec 3 population of 297 .. wad de *beep* is this .. haix .. dun feel like blogging .. still tomolo . buaix ..

hmmm .. i presume i didnt not blog for a whole long time . roughly a month and a week i suppose ..and a lot .. i mean a lot . of things happened along the way .. let's start from early april i suppose .. grandfather just past away .. had a whole week of mourning .. people cried their hearts out .. but i wonder .. he was a great person .. with a few flaws that might be frustrating to people .. but he was a generally a good man .. with heart of gold .. only that he was misunderstood at times .. anyway .. people who he was connected to will always b in his memory .. esp me .. haix .. but we must get on with life .. right ? .. anyway .. during that period of time i was feeling really down .. then was called back to sch .. teacher talked to my mum .. shook me up .. but it was just a wake up call for me ... i change anyway .. its for the good for me .. anyway .. i found someone witha golden heart .. but a confused mind ... as for beauty .. she's a stunner ? .. she was my life .. everything she was .. she was so nice to me .. she was my world .. my heart .. we shared so many simmilarities .. up to last count .. 33 ? .. yeah . we were like match made in heaven .. well .. the story went something like this .. she was having a very very rough patch with her bf .. who pratically didnt care about her @ all ..she was a beautiful lady ... such a precious heart . and she could not take herself to break up with her bf .. but the day came anyway .. he was trying to double time her .. and she went to call him to break off the rlsp .. and he was saying .. "fine by me .. just make sure that u dun get me into trouble .." wad kind of person is he ?? .. haix .. but old flame still burn .. and deeply .. wad to do ? .. this is life .. your first love is the person where u cannot give up so easily .. haix .. but its good being single again .. aniwae ... exams and studies are more important .. hmm .. but i just dun understand somethings .. if someone is sincerely deeply caring about the person .. why the other people would object .. especially i'm the person affected .. true .. i'm loud .. i act like a teacher's pet . but i'm not .. and i hate people who are so pissed by me and take their people against me ... if u got guts .. just tell me in my face .. i will just take it .. no need your so called *gang* ... its pissifying u know .. i'm known to be a american guy .. open-minded and all .. but lately .. its like the whole class girls against me .. except su yee .. she's a demure person .. but she has this personality that is so nice ... mayb that's y she the class vice-chairman .. but she has this attitude of a very nice friendly and understanding person... haix .. just wish more people like her .. if .. if .. but wad to do ? .. mayb i cannot be so choosy .. but all girls shld be @ least nice to people .. or at least be frank and forthcoming .. she like tt .. haix .. this my class girl .. at least dun use me like a piece of shit ... treat me with more respect .. if u treat me like this .. is it fair i treat you like a piece of shit ? .. is just fair isnt it ? .. say wad u have bf .. so wad .. you are acting like a piece of shit to me .. hahax ... remember tt time when he was in my sch .. he was acting like a little child .. and u want him as a bf .. u must be *BLIND* .. god be nice to ching how .. may he be blessed with better woman than that rotten piece of shit .. hahax.. fair isnt ? ... mayb i shld try some underhand method ... this is life aniwae .. hahax ... sometimes u fall .. sometimes u win .. haix .. but taking it to a higher level .. the teachers had a spat during one time too .. n some ppl instead of apologising .. went to the teacher to say whether he was bombed by the other teacher or not .. all about a few chocolates .. haix .. it started with me first .. asking for chocolate .. haix .. my fault lahx .. haix .. aniwae.. life is like that one ... and i realli miss love .. the feeling of giving and getting loved .. but exams are here aniwae .. this is more important ... but i still have to care about my frenx .. n deb ? .. if u ever ever see this blog .. just know that love is not a bed of roses .... thus hold on to the love u are having now .. aniwae ... vivienne ? .. who's the girl who gave me the calculator ..? .. i wanna thank her a lot a lot .. she's so nice ... thank her @ least .. or at least tell me her name can ? .. thanks .. =D ..

... pardon me if i didnt write this blog for the last few daes .. had turbulent times @ home .. in singapore ... in the whole world .. what's wrong now?? ... it is a doomsday coming ?? ... haiz .. why is this world so cruel to me?? .. this is not fair @ all .. what's the world coming to ?? ... first @ home .. my grandad fell ill on saturdae .. had a lot of cough .. some of them resulted in vomits .. his strength wasnt with him at all .. his face was very pale .. his whole body wasnt supporting him at all ... my dad said that it was most probably his old illness @ work again ... then again ... on saturdae morning .. he was so pale .. vomitted a few times .. then my mom was so scared .. she asked my grandad to get ready and change for the hospital .. but he said he was hungry .. so i went out with my dad to buy him something he wanted .. kway chup .. while waiting .. i didnt even fathom that this was going to be his last meal .. @ my house .. this was what happened before he went to hospital .. my relatives were all surrounding him .. bringing him n accompanying him thru out the whole process .. what the hell man .... then came the shock process .. he just went like this ... the doctors were all saying that his time was going to come ... but he said give him a week to last .. but my grandad had other plans ... anyway .. when my mum came to the scene .. he was already hanging on the edge .. heart beat about to fail ... and the time struck .. he left us .. i'm never going to see him again .. oh god .. pls .. haiz .. wad the hell .. just give him another chance pls .. i wanna hug him for once .. pls ... ......

was sick on wed .. had gastric flu ... but it was a mild one .. almost scared the hell outta my dad .. cux he just recovered from operation .. so .. if he caught this .. it's gonna be a bit of troublesome .. but he's okie now.. aniwae .. wanna wish yong jin happy birthdae .. janice for her birthdae on 27/03 .. jason n kelly on 22/03 .. hahax .. aniwae .. happy birthdae u guys .. dun get SARS !! .. n thank u everyone one hu were so concerned abt me .. hahax .. i didnt get sars .. so it's oke ... and .. i'm sianz .. no sch .. miss u guys .. n gals .. n cant meet the angel in my heart .. those hu heard me *max mystic n marcus from xinmin* on perfect ten .. tt gal is my life .. she's an angel .. n i dun care how u ppl see her .. she's the best gal i ever met ...

wah ... saw the prettiest lady in my life besides me mother n sister .. she so pretty lahz ... bo hou so jealous .. hehex.. had lunch with her ... with all the pretty facial looks.. and a very attractive eq,iq, and personality ..but i dun tell u hu's that ..she a wunderful person.. hard to believe tt she's with me ... thank the gods.. i;m blessed...

haiz .... when a dae goes horribly wrong .. y is the timing always not rite ? .. wanted to see someone but then i wasnt free to see her .. haiz .. she was such an important frenx of mine ... i let her down .. its not fair at all .. haiz .. aniwae .. i had to wait for 2 long hrs to get my bus card done .. but the good thing was .. someone found my card and return it to the translink office .. so happy .. but can the guy or gal pass me back my wallet ? thanx a lot =D .. aniwae .. i gtg liaoz .. see ya guys later ..

~time pass by ... i sit here all alone .. with friends all deserting me .. then i see a shadow .. at the end of the tunnel .. a beautiful shadow .. then .. u emerged out .. like an angel .. and all i could do is to hug u .. to thank u of being my truly good friend ... to see that u are my best friend ..~ to someone in my heart .. it's for u .. kk ? .. aniwae .. i gtg . leave u other ppl in tot .. ahahaz.. byex ..

haiz .. why so many people so cruel to me ?? ... tis not fair ... haiz .. highness .. cant ya forgive and forget ?? .. haiz .. aniwae .. i so scared for someone ... she's so important to me .. wish could see her and take care of her from another person .. its not fair to her at all ... by the way .. i feel like an idoit ... blasted by all the teachers .. except those that know my father's case ... it's not fair at all .. why must they be ike that to me? . its not fair at all :( ... wish that those ppl understand my case .. as a big bro .. aniwae.. leave ya with a question ppl .. wad is ya idea of love ? .. reply on my blog .. thanx ..

yeah .. father's better ... hahaz .. can walk on his own already .. yeah .. aniwae .. wad's with loving a person ? .. i just dont understand .. is loving a person for a guy is to get her hymen broken ? .. that's not true .. i love a person he or she is like and i dun tink there's any case of concern when i like a gal ... and ... pls dun put me with any other ppl .. coz there's only one person i like right now .. and i not telling ya .. go find out yurself .. she's a very nice person .. so .. please dun put me with other ppl .. and those ppl u put me with . they are my frenx only .. so .. dun hurt them and dun hurt me .. thanx ..

sorri folks ... got a little too busy the last few days due to so many things .. like for example my dad being in hospital ... he got a tumor in his kidney .. lucky for our family .. it is only centralised in his right kidney .. went to the hospital on sunday to have his kidney operated ... then on monday the operaion lasted for four hours .. and he survived ... it's a miracle ... thank god .. aniwae .. i also had to miss a maths olympiad taining bcux of this ... argh .. sorry .. aniwae . i had a lot of things in my mind like the tests and exams .. argh .. aniwae .. i gtg .. byex ..

haiz .. wad a dae sia .. haiz ... imagine 5 free periods ... haiz .. bo ou really must control his anger .. he must be a bit cooled down ... aniwae .. mr choo back .. sorry abt yur grandmum mr choo ... aniwae .. mr lee leaving .. turtle's leaving .. wad r we 2 do ?? .. haiz .. got another trainee teacher though .. he's oso a male .. :D .. *highness* at least responding to moix .. but she's still angry and furious with me .. i'm totally sorry .. hope if u read this u forgive me ... eve ... did u call moix ? .. i was at a competition .. astronomy one .. hahaz ... me, yuxuan, zi suo and ramses got a free dinner hahaz .. tooz .. spent the whole $50 ... and i gained knowledge tooz .. hahaz ... black holes ... sounds dark but ... nvm .. wont use that as my name .. and ... i know a new frenx ! .. valerie and ramses ! .. both nice ppl .. hahaz .. and ... got 38/40 for e maths .. wad de **** ... haiz ... could have done better .. haiz ... aniwae .. i got to go ... hahaz ... ani comments write on the board .. :D ... wad a dae ..

yoz .. wad a dae .. hehez .. guys .. and gals .. pls answer my qn . wad is love ? .. comments pasted on the msg board will be of high viewership .. yah .. so paste yur answer on wad is love .. so tt u can enlightened the whole world .. rox on dudes and babes ..

haiz .. y she so bad to me ? ... i treat her better .. she treats me worse .. then she does all those things to me .. not talking to me .. she's a nice gal ... but the way she's treating me ... it's not fair .. please .. please be fair .. i know u r angry with me .. and u dont like to see my face .. but i treat u as a friend to be treasured and loved ...please forgive me ... can ? .. haiz .. aniwae .. the day was so tired siaz ... i had to be straining my eyes to see what the teachers are teaching .. i wonder where's mr choo .. i sincerely hope that his grandmum's oki .. aniwae .. the sister of the dae is .. Vivienne .. she's a real good debator .. and a real good sister .. she's a real person to be with .. maybe i n her have the same wavelength .. hahaz .. aniwae . one of the best people around ... Vivienne .. she's so nice to ppl .. aniwae .. i luv her as a sister .. hahaz .. btw .. adios amigo...

hahaz .. valentine's day had a lovely gal to accompany me on the ride back home .. a pretty gal .. wad a way to spent valentine's day .. haha .. aniwae .. it was close to midnight when we reached home .. haha .. haiz .. y on earth she won't accept the gift i gave to her ? .. it doesnt make sense lahz ... haiz .. aniwae ... our senior debators won the first round ..yippie !! .. but the jdge for the juniors team was so biased towards our team that we lost .. nvm . prove to him that we will win the title !! ... hahaz.. kk .. in this edition .. i will like to present to you my sisters .. a group of very close ppl to my heart .. hahaz.. one of them is cheryl .. a lovely gal .. with all the heart a guy could find in one gal .. yet so sweet and and irresistable .. hahaz .. but she's my sister .. and her website ? .. http://ipcheryl.tripod.com .. yeah .. she will have a total full introduction of herself in it .. yeah .. : D .. so til next time .. adios !

terrible ... terrible .. sorry guys .. i had a big test to study todae and my time was limited on the net so .. the big delay ... sorri .. aniwae.. clarification ... i'm a GUY ?!? .. hahaz .. but it's my diary so .. hu cares? ..aniwae.. i had the chi test todae .. damn bloody hard haiz ..and i felt a bit hot tempered at teachers .. esp mrs lee .. toking abt sparring match ... hahaz .. aniwae ... i got back wif sarah yap .. she's only my gd frenx from now onwards .... and tt nuttin bad is gonna happen .. then .. i was so tired at school todae .. becux of the stupid chi test ... haiz .. but .. wadeva .. aniwae.. i wonder she will ever read the webbie .. haha .. if she does ... she will know hu gave her the gif .. cux it's me .. hahaz .. for u to keep kk gal?? .. hahaz.. thanx .. i gotta go ssssslllllleeeeeeeeeeepppppp ... gd nitex frenx ..

yoz.. wad a dae ... last 2 daes very emotional .. broke up my friendship wif sarah .. dun wanna see her .. treat her like strangers again ... aniwae.. todae e dad's day .. haha z.. 43 years old? .. big time siaz.. hahaz .. aniwae ... i hurt me ankle . very pain ... argh .. anione on earth wants a dermoplasm? .. it's cool.. :p .. hahaz .. to all my buddies .. cheers.. luv the dae as it is .. :p .

haiz.. todae so bz .. not eng rep animore ... yeah .. less stress .. and then ... chemistry gain extra knowledge ..hydrogen got deuterium ... hahaz .. but funny .. y the whole class so unhappi ?? .. aniwae .. shotput threw a lousy 7.1m .. so lousy siaz... personal best is 9.4m .. :( ... nvm got the next year .. and .. the people at the speaker's corner very unpopular with me .. but the sec 2 support me all the way siaz .. thanx dudes.. :D .. aniwae .. i have to get to know eve better .. potential frenx? .. yeah .. hahaz.. pretty onez though .. hahaz .. but i got something to ask ppl out there .. can u just hear me in my heart for once can?? .. i need a ear ..

yozie .. my new blog ... new one so need time to adjust .. just wait for the later one to be published can? .. thanx for the waiting .. and may u bless by the mystics of silver ...